Fade Into Darkness

New Thangz

"I'm not sure why we didn't meet earlier but that's life. Things happen a certain reason and then something better comes along when you least expect it"

The Real Housewives of South Boston

Walls/Relationship

The term "breaking down my walls" has been coming up a lot lately with different people with different scenarios. It's only human nature to build up a wall to seem mysterious and or not be 'broken down' or heart broken down. I've started to realize that i'm not an architect. I understand that keeping thoughts behind closed doors is one thing, but these 'walls' we have created don't allow people to see who we really are. I'm not saying that i'm going to tell my deepest secrets to someone right away, but I just can't help but figure out why we would build walls to have them destroyed right around us.



The label of a "Relationship" is becoming unclear to me. Don't we have relationships with almost everyone we come encounter with? I could say that I'm in a relationship with my best friend... but that isn't the type of situation that you would label. So why label being in a relationship? If it is for security to be bound to someone and be faithful then yes, your insecurities are sky rocketed because the label of being in a relationship is exactly what you don't need. Why can't we just enjoy each others company to learn and grow together as people. Thats all we really are. Lets let our creative minds flow into the endless unknown and value the time that we have left. I know that if we are "in a relationship" that we spend our time together wisely and are helping each other find the pieces to the puzzle that are called trust.

feeling loving today, spread the word!

i(wantanew)phone

I'm not one for "new" technology, but I have to say, the new iphone4s is something I want to get my hands on! I've had the same blackberry for a while which only texts/calls (wow! no internet? i must live in the stone age!) but don't we deserve to treat ourselves sometimes? These past two weeks have been busy beyond belief and upon getting loads or work done, hitting the gym and coffee dates with friends, whose to say i'm not eligible for the new iphone?! ... to be continued.

New, Fall 2011

I'm unable to explain (even to myself) why I do the things I do. It seems as though I push people away before they can get close enough to hurt me. I do believe though if you let something go, if it comes back it was yours - if it doesn’t it never was. I learned from Justin this summer what in a healthy ‘grown-up’ relationship looks and feels like. He found me when I was already happy, this way we could share our happiness and carefree behaviors without worry or doubt. There was no games. There was no doubt in my mind that things, as simple as they were, were going to be all right. Justin was rare. Rare in the sense that we were so alike… it almost didn’t seem realistic.

I’m unsure why my sky-high walls are back up. I need to redirect my happiness to pleasing myself and taking care of me. I have focused my mind on staying clear and staying on task while staying creative! I’ve realized that I don’t need someone to bring me happiness and that I can obtain it for myself.

Next time, I’ll be braver.