Walls/Relationship

The term "breaking down my walls" has been coming up a lot lately with different people with different scenarios. It's only human nature to build up a wall to seem mysterious and or not be 'broken down' or heart broken down. I've started to realize that i'm not an architect. I understand that keeping thoughts behind closed doors is one thing, but these 'walls' we have created don't allow people to see who we really are. I'm not saying that i'm going to tell my deepest secrets to someone right away, but I just can't help but figure out why we would build walls to have them destroyed right around us.



The label of a "Relationship" is becoming unclear to me. Don't we have relationships with almost everyone we come encounter with? I could say that I'm in a relationship with my best friend... but that isn't the type of situation that you would label. So why label being in a relationship? If it is for security to be bound to someone and be faithful then yes, your insecurities are sky rocketed because the label of being in a relationship is exactly what you don't need. Why can't we just enjoy each others company to learn and grow together as people. Thats all we really are. Lets let our creative minds flow into the endless unknown and value the time that we have left. I know that if we are "in a relationship" that we spend our time together wisely and are helping each other find the pieces to the puzzle that are called trust.

feeling loving today, spread the word!

New, Fall 2011

I'm unable to explain (even to myself) why I do the things I do. It seems as though I push people away before they can get close enough to hurt me. I do believe though if you let something go, if it comes back it was yours - if it doesn’t it never was. I learned from Justin this summer what in a healthy ‘grown-up’ relationship looks and feels like. He found me when I was already happy, this way we could share our happiness and carefree behaviors without worry or doubt. There was no games. There was no doubt in my mind that things, as simple as they were, were going to be all right. Justin was rare. Rare in the sense that we were so alike… it almost didn’t seem realistic.

I’m unsure why my sky-high walls are back up. I need to redirect my happiness to pleasing myself and taking care of me. I have focused my mind on staying clear and staying on task while staying creative! I’ve realized that I don’t need someone to bring me happiness and that I can obtain it for myself.

Next time, I’ll be braver.

Butterflies -metaphorically

All this is, is two people with different lifestyles, different plans, different backgrounds and stories that have come together for a moment and decided whether or not to devote even more of a minutes time together to see if this new connection would be worth it. As far as I can tell, I'm glad it was on both ends. Simple yet violent butterflies inside my half beaten stomach from lost loves before and circling as if to have my hand out the window, driving down the the streets of the big city with lights pointed only directly at me. Oh and there is a cup of sweet tea in my cup holder of course!

Romance

Granted our time is short,
we are unique in ways never to be forgotten. To infinity and beyond.


"Romance is alive."